Where will they live when they can't live at home any more?

If you need to choose a community for your developmentally disabled adult child, or if you expect that this is something you’ll be doing in the future – what would you be looking for? Would you join other parents in creating the place you envision? Last month I visited Kishorit, a kibbutz in Israel for developmentally disabled adults, and it made me think.

I had been to a couple of other rural communities for developmentally disabled adults, and found myself creating a little list in my mind: a place like that needs to be pleasant. The residents need to be respected. I want to look around and see people seem happy, active, satisfied. But what does that take? Obviously, different individuals have different needs and not every community suits every individual. However, one issue that I find very interesting is the question of structured day plans versus catering to individual differences. 

Let me tell you about Kishorit. First of all, a kibbutz is a communal village, in which the resources and the work are shared by the community members. In this particular one, any funds that are raised, any money generated from their various enterprises, is shared by all members of the community. The members of this kibbutz, with very few exceptions, are developmentally disabled.

A foundational principle of Kishorit is to provide choices:

- A resident may choose to live alone, with a roommate or with a partner.

- A resident may choose to live in the village or in the nearby town (in which case prepared food will be delivered, or if they care to cook, food products will be delivered).

- A resident can choose to work with the goats, the chicken, the horses, at the dog kennel, the organic garden, the grape vines, the toy factory. A few work or volunteer at other locations, but the village is home.

- A resident can choose to take advantage of holistic therapies or conventional medicine, or both.

- A resident can choose to dine at the general dining hall, or in the nearby one where meals tailor-made to his or her diet are being served. And like all of us, the dieting resident can choose to cheat on their diet and eat something else altogether

- Drivers regularly go into town, and residents can choose to go and spend a few hours there.

- Leisure activities are varied, again - with individual choices. 

In this community the support team, for the most part, doesn’t live in the village. There’s always someone to turn to, but the social workers, and staff who guide those working on the farm and in the factory and in the communal kitchen etc. leave at the end of the work day. In other places that I’ve seen this is not the case.

Why did I say that all this made me think? Because other residential communities have other principles which may or may not sit well with you:

-         In some places the day is very structured, and fewer choices for work or leisure activities are available

-         In some places there is no choice between living alone or living with another

-         In some places having a partner, which also may mean having sex, is not allowed.

Thinking about this brings up another question, which is – can something similar be done in an urban setting? Is it possible to have a community that offers a place to live, support when needed, a dining hall serving regular, healthy meals, meaningful employment? Please do share your thoughts.